How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
