why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
