she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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