I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
