dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
