Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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