4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm at about main and main street
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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