Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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