we have pet lesbian snakes
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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