I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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