Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
