Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
