yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
