This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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