Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
