So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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