I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
