I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
