Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize