I saw his package. It spoke to me.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
