I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Randomize
