For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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