My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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