I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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