Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
