The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
