Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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