I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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