I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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