# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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