Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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