i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
