so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
