Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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