DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
