I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
