So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Sex in the backyard? Check.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
