we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
