After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
