Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
you made out with another girl for some wings
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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