I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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