i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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