THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
