Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
