Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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