he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
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I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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