I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
