So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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