Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
