You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
