Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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