a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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