I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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