Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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