A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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