Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
