how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
