so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
