just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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