His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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