No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
