I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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